suddenly remembered about the dream i had earlier on...the result of sleeping longer...lol....was tired...as i had maths lesson in the morn..7 AM!!!! yah...almost died in the morn...but nvm..gotta get used to it again...

got home..SLEEp...dream...sumthing about going round n round.....oh ya..yest had a fierce falling again..i always dream abt falling..sighx...i prob committed suicide in my past life or sumthing...anyway...abt today...

dreamt abt swimming...around n round...then he died...i was completely devastated...really...comPLetely...the whole 2 hrs when i was slping...i was crying for 1 1/2 hr in my dream...ALWAYS!....in the dream..u noe..when u lose sumone really dear...u start crying like..SO hard..So hard that ur whole world is going to fall apart. feel so drained when i woke up...anyway in the dream..there was always sumthing to remind me of my dearest....and i cried...AGAIN...i kept cryING!!...sigh..i say out here also no one will understand wad i'm trying to express..nvm...its juz that...i felt wad it feels like to lose sumone so close...it hurts..u feel like u're bleeding...ur world seems bleak...and nothing matters any longer...ur tears...it has flowed till it has really dried...so bad tat when u cry...nothing comes out but juz harsh breathings and sobs...no one can understand y u can't let go...but u dunno why u keep on crying...u juz can't help remembering that person..u keep hoping the person would come back...u hope so badly..u keep hoping and hoping.,but iat the back of ur mind noes that u're holding on to a withered hope..and the reality juz hits u..he is never coming back...u're alone..so alone..u only have an image to keep in ur mind..the moments u spent with the person in ur heart...u miss the person SO much...so much that u feel that everything beautiful is nothing..u drift into nothingness...and u start crying again... u are almost on the verge of hallucinating that u see or feel that the person...whether its real or a ghost...is there...and u start crying again... my heart aches now...dunno...weird dream..the lost was so real..i panicked and msged him....i feel so tired nw...so afraid...dun wan anything to happen to him...ever...

but well..this is juz a dream. dreams dun come true...do they?