i dunno why.. i dun feel good these days.. especially when it comes to night time. When darkness sets in, the whole place is enshrouded with shadows.. guilt, thoughts, myriad of emotions just holding you under the surface, suffocating, drowning. Maybe I am just weak. A person who finds that playing the sorrowful victim is easier, whereas the one who stands strong and tall is the one that prevails.

Shucks no. 1: I freaking wasted one whole week of hols. How did it pass so fast? I dun even noe what I did for the whole 24hrsx 4days(so far)= 96 hrs. And I have mid term tests. Why can't I seem to have the motivation to strive on and just keep studying n studying.. argh.

Shucks no. 2: I just realise I can't apply for my SEP next sem. Coz if I get it, what happens to my tuition students? I can't just say oh byebye, I going sch overseas so u ownself good luck ahhh.. WHEEEE off i go. How irresponsible wld that make me. And adding on to that, I have a student that is p6 this yr. If she just does badly, I really guo yi bu qu. Guess I shall apply for the 3rd yr. Dragging my application YET again.

Shucks no. 3: its is really time to save.. u never know what will happen in the future, and I didn't know how much I had taken the good things I have for granted. I need to buck up.

Just really glad to have my good ole friends and my baby who is there for me. =)

We cooked dinner together last Saturday. Was really simple but nice and sweet. *muachx* love u baby~

jiayou elaine. Its time to stop being the victim and start acting as the baddie who strives for his own goals. Its a man eat man world, and worse, in a country where rats scurry around to make cheese and protect it. Hurray. I'm in it. Wake up.

feeling down and out now.

guess studying can do this kind of emotional distress..

so lonely..so very lonely..

where are u.. where am i..

here...here.. no.. back off.. back off..

back to work. back to work.

mother of all shucks. sigh~

Its the end of the week!And next week is mid term break. then again, it does not even feel that way. shucks~ I have FOUR mid term exams when school reopens. How free can I get, seriously.

BUSYBUSYBUSY... tuition, assignments, forcing myself to go for lectures..
Much going on.. but then again.. NOt much going on coz its the SAME OLE thing going on yet again..

I Need Exercise. damn. how many times in one month do I whine about this everytime I wake up. But absorb all the conflicts with myself when food kind of appears to be travelling towards mouth..

My brother came back at the start of this week, with his girlfriend.. luckily nothing major or catastrophic occurred. They're alright lah~ Not sure for my parents though..Went out with Sin Yee to watch Sweeney Todd. DARN. TOTALLY OUt of my expectations.
FIRST SURPRISE: its a musical. I didn't research enough about it!
Second Surprise: Johnny Depp really sings quite well.. he's soooo charismatic!!
THIRD SURPRISE HIT me as he slices methodically across someone's throat. NOT ONCE. but TIME AND TIME AGAIN..hell. no one warned me of the gross factor...

Went for Veron's birthday party at Cairnhill CC.. Happy belated babe!! U LOOK REALLY HOT THAT DAY=) Maybe you should always dress up like that everyday. hahaha all daopoks can't take their eyes off u!!=)veron and her family.. so cute!!!

eating fries with cherryn on the way home..YUMMY!

Went out and saw this..in today's time and age..Putting tissue holder and handkerchief on the table to CHOP SEAT!!!! kiasu pple..

Anyway.. some fun things coming up.. Exams...outing with the gang at Dempsey, Viki's 21st birthday party..and of course.. non stop MUGGING. I just can't stop myself from being studious..

Happy Valentine's DAy!!

This is one day which everyone waits for..no matter whether u're pining for love, searching or seeking desperately of love..indulging in one relationship or reminiscing on those gorgeous standstills from your past..

While i was pondering with my head in my palms, gazing dreamily out the SBS bus's window earlier today, I realise how hyped up this day is. True, Valentine's has become a day which represents hope, a renewal of promises of love and forever more adoration. But adding in all the commercialized decorations and presents MEANT for this very day, such as confetti, balloons that come in all shapes and sizes, arrays of chocolates, muffins, cupcakes, love shaped stuff.. (i think if they manage to produce a love shaped pile of shit that smells good, think everyone would still haggle after it). somehow meanings get lost...

I miss my baby. HAHAHA i had classes all the way till 6 and then tuition from 7-9. Damnation. what lengths I would go to earn a minuscule sum of money(still suffering from the setback my ipod gave me).. Valentine's day is so DREARY!!!!! Everyone in school are dressed up prettily.. dresses, heels, makeup, roses in one hand, bouquet in another. shucks. EVEN the guys made an effort to wear button down shirt and nice leather shoes. IT DOESN'T EVEN SEEM LIKE A SCHOOL DAY!!! ugh. The corridors are packed with people milling around stalls with moony eyes and big pockets.. what ever for. Seriously.ha~ I am SO gonna get killed by advocates of Valentine's.

Truthfully, I wonder who invented Valentine's. I wikied it and found that this day was named after two early Christian martyrs. wth. WHAT KIND OF ROMANTIC ASSOCIATION IS THIS. In my opinion, its just a label to conjure up more profits and stimulate capitalism through the fanciful notion of love. Institutions of power, probably the state or the religious authorities in those days.. they probably want to encourage people to seek for partners(though they miscalculated on the lesbians and gay love). lolx

Guess i better stop being so cynical on this wonderous day filled with love.

I believe that we should love our partner no matter what day it is. Same for Mother's Day,or whatever day there is, unconditional love should last everyday through thick and thin, and with the one who sticks with you whether or not u're sloppily dressed, ugly with pock marks, fat like a wine barrel, talk roughly or who manages to burp louder than guys. But then again who am I to set the standards for being a perfect girlfriend or being pretty or being womanly? As long as you stay faithful to one another and being there for each other no matter what, I think that's love. Having same goals and if u're able to envision urself in his arms even when one foot's already being sucked into the grave, that's love.

Fireworks when you kiss, love birds crooning ballads while you watch the sunset and whirlwind pitterpatter of heartbeats(always) are just total bullshit. That doesn't always last.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH stop ELAINE!!! hahaha 1/2 an hour more and its the end of the day!! since i think its just a hyped up activity why talk so much about it!! lol

MOVING ON.. haha yesterday was wonderous with my baby!! we spent time together in the morning.. he waited for me while I taught tuition and then we went to the premier to the show "JUNO". Really nice and sweet. Hilarious and witty. U really got to catch those jokes to understand. =) Thought we may get interviewed coz we're the 1st 25 couples to send in the picture for TV Mobile's "Love is Everywhere" contest. HAHAHA fat hope. guess the pictures and my efforts to dress up didn't end up in naught!=)~ (WARNING: JUST pictures of me n jason hahah)

My eyes look a tad bit weird..

BABY and me=)
FREE TIXS!!

We reached GV Marina too early and so baby decided to sneak into the arcade! CAUGHT YA!
What's more..they gave us FREE GOODIE BAG when we came out of the cinema!! TVMOBILE u rock!!=) Happy people..and of coz happy me..

and of coz.. yah i noe. EEK fat arms. HAHAHA 1st time i wear sleeveless in public after dunno HOW MANY years. somehow my baby makes me feel beautiful. he accepts me for who I am and I love him for that! I love you darling. Truly do. *muachx* Thanks for believing in me and calling me everynite to tok smoochiewoochie.. kissing me passionately even though there are tons of people around.. holding my rough chapped hands as though they are the most precious things on earth.. hugging me tightly even though i beat u at times and never letting me go through these years..

U're the best baby.

Can't help loving you..=)

OMG. i bought something really nice and guilty today. Probably comparable to me buying a box of Yummilicious Godiva chocolates..


AN IPOD TOUCH.



*SCREAMS* what am i going to do as I'm HUNDREDS poorer.. sobx. but it was too irresistible. It is not only slim..It also has the capabilities as featured on the iPhone. This includes touch screen, enlarging photos by pinching them, browsing through CD albums...
SIGH. my angpow just go POW! vanish into thin air. sobx~ i have to love it even more then. *gives ipod a bigbig kiss*

How was the CNY for most of you all? I think i am indeed fatter. shucks. dietdiet. studystudy. lets get back to work again. Oh ya. I also won free GV movie tickets coz i submitted an entry to the tvmobile contest. ahahahaha for Valentine's day.. lolx. yay!!! and Veron's bdae party is coming rite up! another busybusy week~

Updates.

really so busy that I'm going outta my mind..

Talking about just now from 6 o;clock onwards, I have mopped the floor, helped my mum prepare dinner, clean up, take in the clothes, hang a new batch of clothes, pack my stuff(dining table), bathe pootpoot, iron a whole mountain of clothes, clean pootpoot urine..faintz* maybe it doesn't sound like a lot to u guys.. but its seriously more than what I do usually around the house. Oh yah. i forgot to mention putting up CNY decorations and flowers as well..

ALso, I have been selected to join the Radio Pulze team.. "HI there, my name is Elaine Ong and I'm a broadcast journalist. Nice to meet u." o_o hahaha can't wait to try out reading the news..but who on earth listens to the school's radio station?!!! so heck. hurhur. hopefully I can get to interview major bands or artistes that come down to Singapore..can U imagine mayb wang li hong.. *drools* I am going to observe real live action of broadcasting tomorrow with one of the crew, so probably would be lotsa fun!=)

Anyway, tomorrow will be a hectic day coz I got non stop action in sch from 8-2, then tuition from 3-6, then send poot for boarding, then rush home to settle dinner with family and pack stuff to prepare for the trip to malaysia.. =)

Xingle's birthday celebration was nice~ saw syaz, zulia, aida, xingle's 04A4 classmates and of coz the xiao jie herself!!!!!!Tomorrow is her real birthday.. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY XINGLE!!! *hugs* (PS: dunno what wrong with my phone, I cannot upload the pictures via bluetooth to my com. sigh)

Then my mum's birthday was ok.. Ate at Conrad. We had dim sum.. not really THAT fantastic as acclaimed to be, think Bugis's Fu Man Yuan still rocks. Even Crystal Jade has its own flavorsome attraction and much more budget than what these places charge to make up for their aesthetic decor.

pretty mum and cute dad!

ahhh my face so fat..

the xiao long bao was the best among it all i think. YUMS!

NEXT UP: Qian yu's birthday celebrationbirthday AH ma!!

Went there with my beloved OG4 and it was really quite fun=) From Left: Mich woo, me, Keng ee, Qian Yu, Minghui, Pearly, Mich teh, and Yong shen~
Especially with those funny lame jokes and the laughter that we shared coming back to us..makes it all nostalgic and warm..Maybe its the Setting.. STEAMBOAT!

So yummy that all the plates were cleared. (probably all by Keng ee).

Maybe its the simple yet fantastic pretty looking cakes!
but if I really had to choose, it would have to be ME.
hoohoohoohoo~~ Ever so guai and innocent pure angel!

AHAHA no lahhh thinks its Qian yu.. Happy birthday sweet girl!=)


NEXT UP for the month.. CNY celebrations, Meet new friends, get crazy with projects, Veron's birthday party, Radio Pulze activities, Valentine's Day, my dad's birthday. *screams!!!!* the song "bleed it out" surely must be referring to my pocket. Money flowing with the wind...