and superbly sian. I looked at this the other day to study..hahah! missed him so much. haven met for one week...


I keep getting distracted when I am at home..

Taking picture of my unkempt hair can also help me take off inches of boredom..

The only thing that made me very happy was visiting a 2nd hand bookstore and got myself 3 more to add on to my J.D Robb Collection!!!!

SHOOO prettyy rite..=)=)

HAHAHAHA after exam gonna go there and plus somemore.. hoho~ cheap cheap. about 7.50-12 a book only! bleahx.

ANd I managed to have a peek and spend a bit of studying time with my darling bear=) A zombified and looking like a siao gao messy hair hermit..


=) These few days been looking across the horizons..Just so pretty..


There was also this particular day when it was so spectacular.. my phone couldn't pick it up.. It was just.. pink hues draping itself and stretching out its arms to envelope the surroundings.. With the wind swirling absentmindedly, I just stood below my block, amazed and couldn't quite staring at the golden orb setting before my eyes..


Spectacular..

I wonder why the other passer-bys didn't even stop and stare or admire the wonders of nature..

Someone who has seen the world.. if he sees my comments and pictures.. he probably think.. this woman ah SIAO. like that also nice.. I' ve seen even better ones..

How I wish I could too..

I also recently heard a song on radio, "If I were a boy" by Beyonce.. and decided to check out the video coz her lyrics were a bit confusing and got my attention..

Watching it on YouTube took my breath away. The tune got stuck in my head, the emotions were riled. Resonance of the past and present situations of gender.. really hit you right smack in the face and forced you to kinda reflect and think. Very good video. I love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c0wqoj3lEM

TOday... is a terrible day..

I studied so hard for this module..yet I defeated myself through poor time management. I missed out several parts of the theory.. though I could recite it naturally...

I prayed.. I hoped..

I find myself so different from the rest, really wishing for an A.. to ace something.. while they have all the luxury to just wish for a pass.. get a Bachelor's and go. I on the other hand, am struggling..

Struggling for what sometimes I just look at my cap point and weep inwardly with despair. The future just seem so bleak. Baby told me this is just a pebble in my life. But this pebble has serious ramifications to what one can be in future. Perhaps I am just dramatizing this whole thing.. but I am not someone above average. Perhaps its my own personal failure, or whatsoever, I just fall short to those who seem to be able to make it to higher positions in life, achieving those things that are deemed glamourous and hankered by the rest of the mainstream.

Disappointment or plain resentment.

Resigned or still clinging onto that inkling of hope?

Perhaps the only light that lays bright at my heart's periphery, is love and that tiny happiness that 2 papers are over, just one more to go on Friday.

I am defeated today, starting over tomorrow.

My NCC sgt once told me, tomorrow will be a brand new day. Indeed it will be. But not without the chains of the past, the residuals of what happened, the lingering unconscious psyche which either destroys you or makes you stronger.

I hope it is the latter. I'll sleep on it tonight, gaining respite after the storm.

YAY! I finished another module today..

Handed up the blardy brochure and the website. Cried over this stupid stressful thing..

It's FINISHED! Done for.

I was so worried for this.. i am quite proud of this also.. When I was doing these 2 up.. I really felt like I'm being pulled back to my secondary school days.. when I had to struggle with A maths. Really fucking make no sense and I feel so damn useless..Its like I wanna lose my temper.. but u noe it wun matter.. wun help u clinch that A. So helpless.. so lost. But well.. managed to live through it.

Here is the hard work I've put in..

The Brochure

The front..

Inside=)

The back.

This brochure was a whole made-up event..


I could have made the inner part prettier.. but the stupid requirement was having one side color and the other side duotone (means only can have 2 different color)..oh well. I like my stuff still.=)


Website (not very nice.. haha REALLY cannot understand flash. gave up on that bonus)

Homepage..

Look so beginner-ish rite.. sigh~ heck la. hand up le.

2nd page of 'Events'..


Yay. can concentrate on cracking my head for my 3 papers..


Whee.. anyway here are some random pictures from my birthday period.. So simple yet kinda nice la. hahah doesn't seem very fun for a 21st.. but what to expect with exams lurking at the back of your mind and everyone else in the mugging mood. hahaha=)


Went to pick up my cousin from New Zealand, who's stopping in SIngapore for a day..went to East Coast.. the day was real sunny.. very good day for taking pictures=)


After that went to study with baby.. and yes. lost temper and cried. Sigh... didn't feel like going for the steamboat after that coz I felt that I was going to burst into a major water bucket anytime.. but well.. I went coz I noe its not easy for my sweet frens to get out during this kind of mugging time=)


Celebrated with my sweeties..=) Candy, Bee, Jaslin and Cherryn! Glad I went~

ON my birthday..

my eyes.. look a bit scary.. hahah

Went out for a simple lunch with baby.=) WHERE IS MY PRESENT!!!

SAD.

We went to Clementi to eat.. hahaa

Quite yummy leh.. its some small quaint western place=)

Starters...

Main course!

wheee~~~ actually baby look a bit like some siao professor.. so scruffy!!!

My mum hurt her foot that day.. look that awesome orh ba kah.(shit how to spell!)

ANyway.. after that my parents brought me out for a yummy simple dinner at Aroy Thai at Funan! hee~ quite nice de.

Kevin and Fangfang even got me a brithday cake! So nice of them.. haha concert tix then now cake summore.. ooo

Pardon me for my funky hair..Was studying before that.. haha!


A kiss for my darling!!

Actually he look like he gonna cry rite......................

:....(

The gift from baby. hAHHAA a candy cane!! he promised me a camera.. I'm waitiiiiinnggg darling..

Trying to bribe pootpoot to stop anyhow pee...

He is so cute.. when he cuts his hair.. hahahaa


Sigh if only I can be as fortunate as him..

tsk tsk.

Happy birthday to me=)



Belated.

Days just pass so fast nowadays..

I am feeling damn sian with all these dry text.. Jason ask me to pour water on it. Oh well. maybe I will try burning them after the exams.. Dry= all the better to burn rite.

21st birthday. I think it is all just a hyped up thing. An opportunity grabbed by capitalists.. trying to make a living out of all the parties.

Words are constructed terms made by people for a reason. probably just terms and guidelines so as to understand the world a teeny weey bit better..

I dun feel any different. Life just goes on..

Suddenly thought about love.. so transient.. so .. hmm. can't figure what words to describe it. It is so easy to give a small piece of it away, one at a time. But sometimes when a piece from someone else is not given back to fill back that void.. your heart depletes.. and soon it hardens..

Well, kinda like soil. If the top fertile layer gets weathered and washed away.. the ground soon hardens. MUAHAHA what kind of analogy.

A big thank you! to all those who sent their messages and birthday well wishes.. from China, from Singapore and even Malaysia. *muACHX! love you all=) Guess Facebook is really an amazing thing. Hahaha all those whom I didn't expect to even remember my bdae.. actually wished me happy birthday! Incredible. The phenomenon of Web 2.0. Beat that!

3 more days to crunch time. I HATE IT!!!! although time will surely pass very fast, but I dun feel good about it.

I really have to stop eating too!!! omg. seriously.

And start running. I AM SERIOUSLY going to die at standard chartered. My mum told me that i will surely make the headlines the next day.

" Girl who just turned 21 recently, fainted at the finishing line of Standard Chartered Run 2008."

Should there be any guidelines or medical tests for participants to go through? Lets vet through all participants' records in future so as to prevent unhealthy people from participating. THIS IS WORTH PANICKING SINGAPORE!! LETS START BARRING FAt people from taking part in long D marathons. Step up efforts in primary school TAF clubs! Make sure those plump small beings stick to those strict eating regimes.. wholemeal bread plus tuna every recess. WATER! The young depend on us. The future lies on the rest of the generations. We must become sustainable! Through healthy beings!


ok. wuliao. back to work.

BOOHOO


sigh. been feeling down..insecure.. pretty irritated.. especially towards baby..

Maybe its just PMS. It really sucks big time.

Yesterday went to Cherryn's module art installation.. Think it was really worth going..Its so easy to get lost in your own artistic thoughts.. you can really feel the thought processes that went through those pieces..before they were made, before her classmates and her breathed life and gave meaning to them.


This reminds me of something I felt was quite meaningful in class this semester..

" You only know something is green when you learn that there's green".

Sigh. *feeling real low*..

feel like crying for no reason..

sigh.

Mayb i will try thinking of happier things..

Candy asked me what birthday present I want.

Here is my list: (warning-- can be quite incredible. Pls dun take it seriously. or maybe u can.)

1. 21 tall tan hunky guys. Naked.
2. A chauffeur (preferably a nice smelling one who has no B.O and doesn't smoke) who can drive me around (coz my driving sucks and my fear of accidents is gonna keep me off the roads for quite a while)
3. Slippers..
4. Money. Really running short of them
5. A healthy slim body (instead of giving me one, mayb just encourage me to become one)
6. Nice yummy chocolate (not too sweet)
7. Nice yummy food
8. A pair of River Island jeans (hope they have a sale after exams)
9. To have a really nice hair cut/dye/treatment/wash
10. Colored contact lens which can make my eyes bigger and also acommodate my astimatism
11. Handphone Nokia N95 (saw my dad bought it the other day.. was really niceee btw, its 800 plus here.=P)

12. an overseas trip with just baby, me.
13. shoes... i need to head down to far east soon
14. a waisted belt.. if thats what u call it. but scared.. it will look awful on me
15. something sexy
16. Anna Sui body lotion..pls dun get the wrong one. Even I dunno which one izzit. I think it was their previous range. Sad.
17. blusher
18. rubber band. Those simple but nice.. mayb a bit of glitter but not too much fuss.. I AM JUST TOO FUSSY!!

19. Nora Robert under the pen name of J.D RObb books.. I haven completed the series..I only have Naked, Glory, Immortal, Vengeance, Divided, Survivor, Innocent, Born n Creation in DEATH. If you got the money to splurge on me, splurge more. muahaha

20. Julie Garwood also..I think I still need Gentle Warrior, Rebellious Desire, The Lion's Lady, Saving Grace, Prince Charming, The Prize and The Gift! wheee~ i dun even mind 2nd hand books.

21. Camera.. but I very fussy when it comes to shopping for one.. i need to have the mood. and a very very convincing salesman.

22. Candy to make me a nice dress
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
omg my list could go on forever..this warm up is GOOD!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
23. I want to have an eyelash perm
24. nail extensions
25. new laptop
26. sign up for habitude exercise classes in December at Bukit Timah Plaza.
27. TO feel victorious in the Standard Chartered RUn 2008
28. To obtain more love
29. To have peace around the world (yea rite.. if it was that easy..)
30. To travel, to live.

OH YA~ I want a high paying job too. most important.


Sigh. Everyone has insatiable desires. Unattainable ones, unrealistic ones.

I am one of those normal people.

Is this normal?

Self explanatory contradiction

Feel quite shitty now. Sigh. maybe its pms or something. Whatever it is it has been affecting me the past few days. Self worth, beauty, anything quantifiable as a measurement to oneself has pummeled to an all time low for me. But feeling damn useless doesn't mean can afford to stop and mule and whine over it rite. No friends, no support, all you gotta do is to rely on yourself. The whole world still turns even if you die.

Oh ya did I mention I almost got knocked down again today? Sigh. Maybe I shld really die soon.

So decided to cheer myself up with Wan Li Hong's videos=)

PS: a biggggg thanks to Kevin and Fang Fang.. for sponsoring this concert for my 21st birthday. It was worth every second=)
The videos gonna be rather blur.. and screamings and whistles which may muffle his voice.. *that stupid loyal pretty girl fan beside me lah so loud..* hoho

I am only gonna show a very rare few.. coz there were many when the stupid girl shout so loud and sang.. totally cannot make it and it reflected in the video. SOOO i shall not put it up for discretion. HAHAHA

And also.. it takes like superbly long to upload a single video.. getting on my nerves.~

Firstly, some photos to keep myself occupied while waiting for the videos to load..

Excited babes~

TiXS which worths a fortune=)!


By the time we reached, the place was like already damn packed lah!


more pictures of us~



We started to give mild blow jobs according to directions given..


Fangfang with her 'toy'


Assassinating her while Kevin is not around..


Then the lights dimmed.. and the magic began.

This was the start of the concert... It was MEGA cool~~~~ I even wanted to burst into tears due to my excitement.

Wan li hong was like totally awesome throughout. He really did practice a lot (can see his effort and choreography even though he did sing some stuff wrongly..). He is really a talent!!

Even though distance was a 4/10, but the atmosphere was.. 12/10.

But they really did try to accommodate everyone by having such humongous large screens on the stage. Magnifying his splendidness to the exclusive masses gathered with hope and love at the Singapore Indoor Stadium..


Then he went for an intermission.. still.. no one was bored in betweens.. It was engaging from start till end. The comics were superb.


Then he changed out into a sexy outer covering. His own skin plus muscles *drool*. hahaha though I can't really see it.. but I guess it must have been..

Yummy.

He also introduced his new songs.. I think was ok la.. a real change from his usual style (cheena kind).. but still need more time to absorb the song.

I totally took photographs of every single possible light color there is shining down and making him glow..

WANG LI HONG SPOKE TO ME!!!

He was singing "Yi shou jian dan de ge". Then I shouted in btw.." WO AI NI WANG LI HONG!!"
aka I love you wan lee hom.

He paused.. then he said xiexie ni!!! OMG.

hAHHAHA

Once I start posting his pictures up, I just can't stop it..

He also gave us a exquisite taste of his wonderful piano skills. kyaaaaaa~

And this was another superb part which magnificently showcased his talent.


Awesome stuff. Introducing violin by my darling:

HAHAH.. no more videos will be provided.. IF you wanna watch some more..then catch me with my laptop. HAha i will be more than glad to show you=)

Anyway.. he ended it with a blast..

And everyone were mad. Whistling and singing and their light sabers dancing amidst the throngs of good music blaring from the one object which grabbed all our attention.


Sigh wish I could relive it again. But let that remain for dreams.

Eh anyone who wanna get me a birthday present.. maybe you can gimme a one chance ticket to shake hand and take pictures with him. hAHHAA

Nah.. pls dun get me that for bdae. He prob wun even noe who i am. no point.


Cheers. I am done.