Sad.

expected.

who else to blame but myself?

Reflect, look forward.

Fighting against straitlaced mindsets...impossible.

Trying to be strong...tough

Getting an average of A next semester..insurmountable.

What to do.

I Cried. realise it's useless. Pity. Made myself feel even worse.

Fight. Fight. for who?

FInally HOME.

Ugh. 3 whole days of OT till 8pm. takes me 1 hr plus to reach home from TUAS.

ARGHHHhhhhhh being an editor seriously has no life. As baby said today, I must be the most hardworking intern on earth. Well... maybe just limit to singapore.

Can't sleep now. Will feel super guilty if I did coz just finished eating chicken rice *hears horrified gasps* YES. the oily filled chicken rice. THE YUMMY 5 STAR chicken rice along Chun Tin Court there!!! wheeeee~~~ yumyumyumyumyumyum.

sian. someone help me set up chatbox leh....

Ok lemme try uploading some pictures...

YAY! Smiley woman.
Photos! Lots of zhi pai stuff. So too BADddd~~ THIS IS MY BLOG AND I LIKE TO PUT UP PICTURES OF MYSELF. MUAHAHAHAHA NARCISSISTIC? SO WHAT!!


i miss cherryn.. sobx. she went holiday to enjoy herself.. I was thinking through today, that Cherryn was there when I was really really down at certain points of my life...
One was during Perth Australia...for the Geography field trip. One of my most memorable trips~

Another was when I found that I failed A maths, E maths, Chemistry and Bio during Sec 4. TOTAL WRECK rite.. =) really have to thank her and Aida for being there for me, consoling me while i bawled....

Another is... *ahem* secret stuff that I told her on the phone.. bout relationships downturns and stuff like that...sigh. what can i do without friends..
I think I am a very friends person. Although its terok to depend on them so much, people like my mum say I stupid and warn me.. BUt of course her warning is true lah. NO matter who you are, your status, your whatsoever, the only people who will stick around are your family. Friends..abit like.. what can they do when you get into trouble. Will they be there when REAL trouble brews?

I dunno. Maybe I am just being too cynical. Well, thats my nature and guess I'm partly influenceed by my mum as well=)

IN any case, no worries. Coz i still have a really nice and sweet and demure and always soft heart for my friends=) It feels so much so much better to give than to receive.. though it will be nice if they can do the same for me. hohoh~ I really feel much happier when I go out with them. I feel much more rooted when I'm surrounded by them. OF COZ must be treasured frens lah.. those hi bye ones.. *BIsh* no point. AHAHHAHA mean ole me again!! ELAINE! *smack hand*

anyway.. i am so tired from staring at the computer screen for god knows how many hours. My eyes are blurry.. i haven't bathed so pardon my nonsensical all over the place rantings. hey.. THIS IS MY BLOG. YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM RANTING RITE. MUAHAHAHAHAHAA (again).

The other day went up to Dempsey with my mum. She suddenly wanted to see the place and the antique shops there. The weather is DARN HOT!! omg. at least now more rain lah..

NOthing.. she wanted to eat there.. but I was like.. so ex. better not. I feel like my faily is in a financial crisis like tt. I must save.. I haven't asked for pocket money for a LONGLONG time. surviving on my remnants of tuition money...HOpefully my intern pay can come in VERY soon. *turn out my pockets to reveal ...nothing.*

anyway back to Dempsey, saw bigbig long fish there. omg. i never seen such big fish before. yeap. can't see clearly from this picture lah. THis is taken from far away. not small fish tank ok. this is a POND.



wah lau. blogger really damn damn slow in uploading leh. Never mind.gotta wait for food in tummy to digest before slping.


Oh.this is what I see every single morning. The sunrise. I WAKE UP SO EARLY and when I reach home, I see darkness...

ANyway during the weekend I went to baby's house to cook pasta! hope it was still palatable. hoho


Then I went to meet baby last Thursday! Wearing a top that I just bought..
Nice??=)

I was thinking my boobs looked a bit bigger in that top..

my bro told me to seduce the editors with it. i was like WHAT! they prob are myopic due to facing computer screens all the time.. they prob cannot estimate whether bigger or smaller. bah... whatever. tok about them also quite sian.

Baby was wearing a suit that day. Look so mature! ahahha=P

After that went to meet up with Shaowen, Jaslin, Candy and Bee!Then over the weekend was the start of GSS!! I WANNA BUY SHOES AND CLOTHES!!!! wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I dun have a life since internship started.... anyway.. i did buy 2 pairs of shoes. bleahx!

I also went to eat my favourite Sushi Tei with mum n dad!=)

sigh. think I better go slp le. cannot tahan. AHAHA and I wanna wake up at 520 to go jogging. SIao rite. But I did that on MOnday. acheS!! my shoulders especially. BIG TIME PAIN. sobx. wat did I do to deserve this.....

hey anyone wanna buy hentai manga from me please contact me.

I have Love Hina full set, DNA, some GTO manga, some REALLY ECCHI ones with lesbian sex and normal ones as well. (btw, these do not belong to me). hohoho and others....=)=)

TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and here i was complaining i got too little things to do. SUddenly I have to do so much saikang things in the office and also must clear permission clearance for photos to be included in the textbook for TWENTY frIGGIN chapters. stresssseddd..=(=(

But well, experience. 2 weeks worth seemed like a long time. Wonder how I can get thru this. So far I have even stayed back for OT until 930. siao ole me.

Well, the most exciting thing still reverberating in my mind rite now is still CHerryn's belated birthday celebration at Amirah's Grill at Pahang Street!!! =)

I really hope Cherryn was really happy. heehee
My feelings about it, at first I was really excited, but a bit apprehensive about the whole thing coz I never tried to plan something before, and gotta think of all the costs.. plus Exams. kao. total stress together with 4 tuition kids to keep my hair standing on its ends..
Went to check out the place together with Aida, (based on her recommendations), thought it was a bit cramped and old..but could be quite fun!=)

HOHOHO the party planners..
Of course..what does a party need? We came up with a theme, the place, a cake, thought of decorations, budget, who to invite, logistics, details.... Phew~

AND THIS IS OUR INVITATION CARD. NICE?? HEEhEE

After running around.. making calls..endless emails.. facebooking(thank goodness for technology), carving out clouds which made my hands shook... staying up late to finish up stuff... it was all worth it=)

The DAY 17/5 finally came..

i seriously took this with my camera phone!!no photoshop nor adjustments! THIS IS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

I was excited. The air was buzzing with electricity. I even wrote down my speech. Made sure candy jaslin and beechun know what they are to do.Brought Lots of stuff and plastic bags with me to tuition.. and then OFF to BUgis with AIda!!=)=)
Me and Aida playing around while we were decorating the place. We reached there like 3pm to get everything started=)=)

Soon we changed into our SIA uniforms and people all started streaming in.. Thank goodness people actually turned up.. if they didn't.. faint. Hahaha dunno what i'll do~

Eh seriously lah.. either blogger take very long to upload the photos, my home's internet is damn slow or Singapore's bandwidth is suPER lousy or too many pple are sleepless and stealing the speed away from me. gROwls* I very lazy to upload pictures le.

All in all, Cherryn was happy, the food was ok, people seemed quite alright with the place. SO WHEE!! we're kinda succcessful=) Guess staying up till 4 plus the day before didn't go to waste. teehee. Happy belated Cherryn=)

ALso, a happy belated Shaowen! Today went to her house to play cards, bluff and name game. AHHAHA talk alot of stuff as well. Quite nice and fun.. not like the other day.. felt abit awkward. hohoho. Guess really need to have the right place..and ambience~ hee. i love u all girls!!

HOpefully I can get my pictures on the blog soon........

Till then.. I dun want Monday to come..

Damn blARDY bored.

seriously. I am now at work, and yet there is nothing for me to do. So far this WHOLE day, I have been sitting, attended a 1 hr outline about the publishing process, lunchtime, come back sit somemore, make one phone call, send one email and yeah. sitting some more till now and forever more till 530 pm. ONE MORE HOUR To GO!! what the hell. The editor whom I am assigned to seems so preoccupied with his stuff that there's no time to teach me, a rookie and I'm here wasting my precious time and growth on increasing the width of my butt. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am majorly pissed rite now.

I gave up my holiday free time to freaking sit DOWN? ass. ass. ass. hope he grows warts on his arsehole if he dun come over here to me soon to gimme something to do. I have scoured the news for today and can soon memorise the discovery channel programme list. SHITNESS!!!! i can't wait to get home to do something more productive.

play with pootpoot perhaps. hahaha

Finally exams over! woohoO! hahaha

SO lazy to blog.

So busy with preparation of...

internship and home stuff..

ARhhH!

had a really great day with baby today... really haven felt so happy in a long while=) i love u dearie bearishy bear!! *hugs*=) simple yet memorable.

I AM SO POOR too. NEXT SATURDAY THEN WILL HAVE PAY.

reflecting on my semester.. not really good.. my proj get 64 only. damn sad. think i could have done better. Though there's always a next time, I can't slack no more. ALL tuitions gonna be taken off my list.. gonna have to depend on parents' money again. hate doing that.

bored. shall return to my csi. hohoho.. DIE PPLE.

Screwed.

Although it was MCQ, I still found it quite tough u nOE! damndamndamndamndamn

1st paper in the exam that I was filled with abit of despair.. Its like gambling.. shucks. i hate genes i tell u. ARGH.

I was late 5 mins for the exam today, got hungry in the middle of it, end of exams had so many pple coming up to tell me that they finished their exams. DAMNATION. sucks to know i have one last paper tomorrow..

Whats the only good thing is that I found out that i got an A- for my assignment. the 1st A that i've seen for the whole Sem. well, i guess when u lose something u kinda gain something. TOMORROW I AM GOING TO KICK ASS!!! ROARS* trying to get an A for tomorrw's paper. Dun believe open book also can do badly.

Internship going to start on Monday.. yet I have SOOO much things to do..yay! going to watch movie with candy tomorrow.. my beloved popcorn will taste even better in my mouth tomorrow. hohohoho.

miss baby. gotta start studying again. JIAYOU!JIAYOU!

TOday is a great day. Some sort. hmm come to think about it.. not really.

It was great becoz i received two great compliments today which was so unexpected. HOHOHOHOHO hehehehehehe=P

I felt happy when I saw baby today.. hmm mayb not really.. coz i waited like over an hour for him so a bit frustrated, coz I HATEHATE WAITING for pple. but nvm. then i was already so slpy.. then i found out that his knee problem was even WORSE than i imagined. like omg. AND HE NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
Walking already got problem wor.. cannot even run and go up stairs is limping slowly. HOW CAN HE EVEN LET IT DRAG! ok can understand certain aspects of his situation, but but.. hai~ just see it then get very irritated. dunno. crazy hormones perhaps.

Can't believe that the end of exams is SOOOO within grasp. WOOHOO! 2 more to go in just two days.

my exact feelings.. studying studying studying.. really dunno what to expect for my results this sem I feel so lazy and though I feel so terrible that i shld be this relaxed. Is it becoz I am already prepared? All the sems before this.. i will be scribbling my notes vigorously even till the night before the exam day itself. This semester, i am like.. erm. laxing around.. dillydally.. finish notes le.. just need to memorise thats all.. i even have time to read manga. damn.

Maybe i am just a fool who thinks she can always be as lucky as she has always been.. ever since i went to university i realised that although I am the best in one island, I am not on another bigger island. What an arrogant prick I have been. sighx~
No matter what.. I really wish for exams to finish.. wonder what I shld do..hmm

1. read manga
2. watch more anime
3. exercise yeah man.. need tons of that.
4. shopping *where the hell am i to get money for that!*
5. oh yah. i got my internship to worry about.
6. Moving house. Need to set up my livejournal to sell stuff. wonder whether anyone wld even buy.
7. play viwawa mahjong.
8. stone.
9. jason so busy so probably only can go out with him during weekend..=(=(=(

My life is so mundane. Can't wait to move to the new house, get a new oven and learn how to bake really yummy stuff. HAHAHA learn how to cook. THough i am so damn lazy.

Piano really interests me again. I am going to tune the piano too when i have moved. After watching Nodame Cantabile, raelly sparked off my love for classical all over again. *dreamy mood*... CHIAKI is so damn CUTE!!!! GYABOOOOOOOO!~~~~~ hehehehe
Been practising Sonatina these days.. thats my only classical material anyway. hahaha

I wanna learn rollerblading. I wanna cycle. I wanna play badminton. I wanna enjoy life. I want much more than this.

there must be something there that wasn't there before..(beauty & the beast) REALLY NICE!


OH YAH!. HELP ME DECIDE PPPLE!!!

how should I cut my hair.. i can't stand the grotesque mess living atop my head any

longer!!!!!!!

hmm not say cut lah.. just wanna do something about it. trim, cut or dye or perm...

SHould i rebond?omg.. look at my eyebags. Revolting~

OR should i perm..
ps: of coz it wun look like this laaa


hmm.. jason want me to rebond.. but nice meh.. scarely it damage my hair *although its already in a disastrous state* It will also look very flat rite...my face so fat le still make my hair plastered to my face...

If perm.. i prob look older and there may b a chance that my face look fatter. ARGH!!!!! Go bald better...
Dunno see my mood or become influenced by friends in time to come.

I have to to marvel at my brother and his girlfriend. With the troubles and fences that he have to stride over or clamber or dig hole, I applaud him for his tenacity and determination. Sigh~ what would the future bring seriously.

FANGFANG! WHAT ARE U HOLDING!! *gasps*


hohoho.. nope. not a dildo lah.. its a mini fan! she hates the hot weather here.. BUT SERIOUSLY. the weather is going nuts. SO DAMN BLOODY HOT I TELL U!! At nite, in the day and from the moment I step out of the air conditioning room, I feel as if a mtf big hot blowing fan is whirring rite in front of my face and evolving me in a sauna. SO damn hot. to the point i am going to wear a bikini soon. good rite. make pple feel cold. HAHAHA i am so socially conscious. tsktsk

My happy brother=) U noe i love u!! hahah=p

The other day I was so exhilarated when I saw an Esprit. can't believe myself. Any shop wld suffice for me at that time.

really liked this top.. look like can wear to work. BUT DAMNATION. its so transparent and the boob part is like going to explode. what to do.. its an S.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA I saw the cutting like quite big just wanna try it out. Guess not for me.~

I MISS U BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK U SUCK BIG TIME!!! BUT AT THE SAME TIME U"RE EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobx.this preoccupied specimen.

ANywwaaaaeee.. THis look of me reveals volumes of my feelings in anticipation for the end of exams. Things still shrouded at home but I guess something is true in all aspects and stages of our life.

LIFE. GOES. ON.

The place is mired with hatred,
tangled with grievance.
The heart aches through throbbing beats,
painful for continuation.
The air is thick with controversy,
nobody engages.
The statements trails to an end,
denied of existence.
The four walls closes in,
no one's there to listen.
Outside, inside and very much within,
empty and desolated.

Who is there? How do we start? Where does it begin? Or is it the end?

With additional troubles that are impending after the exams, though it sounds ridiculous, i dun want exams to end.

I have damn low EQ. i hate myself. Why can't we be normal like everyone else?