helo...once again...so sian sia...siGhx...sch..uGh..i dunno wad adjective to describe it...really..hahaha..miss uwa.

hmm..being a worrying person these days...worry abt geog..then abt clazmates...touch...then noticeboard...wonder WHEN izzit going to BE doNEE....yah...ok..

oh ya...i surprised myself on tuesday..i actually scored 2 trys..hahha...yeah..was REALLy reALLY happy for the 1st time..i suddenly felt enlightened..u noe..i dunno how to describe that feeling..ya...the pride and joy u feel when u put down the ball at the try line..inexplicable. really..trust me..sigh.. seem to lose that enlightenment again..wahahah!! yeah...think gotta work harder still..the rest of the team was probably tired tt day...or sumthing...hahaha..duno.

tomorrow..or rather today..later in the morn..coach gonna choose da team...1stly..i wan to get in...2ndly..i'm afraid that i cannot cope..n mum will complain and force me to quit..i really dun wan that to happen..ya..i see the team like sort of geling now...quite happy actually=) today 1st time its like..own initiated part of the team go drink bubble tea..yah..really priceless to have these kind of moments=)

hai...one big prob of worry...is u..too...ur leg..my heart sank low on tues..when i saw u limping at the side of the field..yar...sigh..helpless then. yeap..=) can hardly spend time with u...but all my happiness was re lived and abundant when we were finally able to go home together...yeah..was quite happy..yepyep..how i wish the distractions were not there..hahaha..yeah..=) hope we cld spend more time together in coming weeks....months...this is only 2nd week...and...we've been together for 2 days only...=( haix...gotta ren...yep..wat can;t we go tru together? =D

i dun like febuary really...its a month...when my pockets is going to be burnt...raging fires happening in that area...money going to b gone...starting to save now..hahaha.

oh ya..today quite pissed..ur msg made me happy btw..haha..so funnny...hehehe=P yeah...i dun like pple hu push all things to mE...ARGH! do u noe the feeling...its like...this is a teamwork...then u push the ting to me..then u do other things..wads ur problem man..i give u do..u do shit out of it...then u give up n do ur stuff...then i take over due to exasperation...u give me a look like i'm too bossy and i shld go bug off....and the comments u give me juz so reek of sarcasm....i was SOOOO anGRY!....i wanted to shout @ them...GET A LIFE!...u noe wad they were doing?....toking abt xin shi...ugh.plS...I DID most of it..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....ok..shldn';t get so worked up...wad for...sigh...yah...juz faster get this over n done with...last yr like that.this yr also same thing happening...nvm...=)

sumtimes think i too ...nvm nvm nvm nvm...i shld fight back sum day...yah..sum day...no one made me that angry yet...but i hate to b angry...coz when i shout at the person..i'll scream a few words...then i will sort of start crying...hell. hahaa..dunno. sort of suck everything back in...thats my character...

andrew intro a quote to me today...it actually depends on how u intepret it...i tink his is wrong..really..hahha..
" means introduced will colour the ends attained"...erm...actually dunnno whether i got it rite...ahhaha!...i forgot le...sumthing like that lah...ya..

.but i like this quote...but dunno y...everyone whom i told it to juz look at me blankly and say..er..so?
" I worshipped dead men for their strengths...and forgot I was strong..."

issn't it v meaningful? it was like a WHOA to me when i 1st saw it...thsi kind of thing is like rampant in the world now...its so inspirational...everyone has the potential...the strength within them..yet they dun look inside themselves to find it and use it..instead..they keep looking up unto others...admiring and idolising..yeah..iZZn't ti NICE????????????????? hahahha..dunno...everyone has their own preferences=) yeah..that wad makes us so special...oh yah..one more tot of the day...

" indeed puniness----as human beings"

oh ya...dun think going to have lots of time to blog...well..tata...wish me luck in everything...love everyone arnd the world..hope the tsunami pple are alright...actually...my problems are relatively small compared to wad they are facing...ahhaa...wad irony. well..*muachx.

sigh.
juz had a bacardi...haha..dun get me wrong..i'm not depressed or anything..=) juz...a bit on the determined side..and irritated side...ARGH!
yah...parents nagging DAY n NIGHT....NO peace...really...no joke abt that... "i expect u to get gd results....NO rugby if u dun...blah blah blah..ur econs..maths easy to score..this is an impt yr..da da dee...dada dA....and THEY expect a B B C.....ahhhhhhhhhh!" no the last part was me...yah..yest night was the worst...they scolded me in the car...i cried silently at the back..no one noes...well.. wad to do...ridiculous...watEver...went to slp early..ha
sigh...shall try harder then...juz that...i feel so bad...i can't spend much time with my frens..in rugby..and esp with u dear....sighx. i feel trapped...do u noe how a bird in a cage feels? yah..beat that.
was quite sad actually this morn...my dad yadadee in the car...(yet again)....as he was sending me to touch training...."u WUN die if u miss a training...SO wat if u miss..are u in the national teAM?" uGH..was so pissed off...ya...but didn't wan to argue with him...such a wet n dreary morn..nothing cld b worse...hahah...yeah..but training was goOD! heee...quite fun ....though got scolded by coach really fierce at one pt.....well..its my fault...gotta improve that area...sigh... think touch is really fun=) yepyep
well...today not a really that bad day=) sorry for not going for lunch with u...my legs are in chains...yah...haix... well...on the positive side...i cld cherish the moments i have with u eveN morE....and cherish every bit of u...=)
dun worry...its juz a dream..i love u...and nothing wld happen to me=) with ur encouragement and love..not even a car accident cld bring me down=) *huGZ
hmm...heard that my cadets...i mean eX-cadets' performance was splendid...so darn happy for them...really do...i cried coz my dad didn;t allow me to go too..shit loh...nvm... i noe they cld do it anyway...they had the potential=) sigh...the mention of ncc do give me a twinge of nostalgia...so glad that they are bringing the unit to greater heights...i'm so proud of them=) yeah...hee....love u all!...yep
now the nights are getting shorter..the days longer...the body weaker...the mind stronger...dun ever give up...u'll go somewhere with effort...esp with u alongside with me..i'll get to tat pointer.
i love you.

i'm lost.

how cum a new yr turn out this way....last yr's new yr was bad too....sighx..i'm worried.

was softly playing with pootpoot along the corridor...then heard my mum crying bitterly in her room...i duno y...i wonder y...she came out saw me..immediately close the door...then went to the toilet...clean up.and came out again...she refuse to say anything...took a cup of whisky...and lock herself in the room.

helpless.

i wonder wat happened...wad kind of a daughter am i...i can't even comfort my mum...she dun even wanna let me in...

did my dad make her angry?

did my bro's comments hurt her now? when she is all alone and she starts thinking back?

is it me?

i feel so lost...gonna start crying soon. wads the use anyway...tears...uGH...