It's amazing how some secret yearnings and hidden feelings can just sneak up once again and bite you. Aptly described in a diff context, it never even started but it was so true and real. How easy it is to give a part of you away.

But once passed, once given up, it's too late to turn back. All that's left to do is to move on, cherish what you have and try to ignore the invisible things that tug your heart strings now and then.

Find peace.

2 more weeks to the start of my working life. As for Sandy, its one more day of countdown. HAHA!~

I think for anyone who starts work, the first day would be the most intimidating and nerve-wrecking one. In my case, I am ALREADY imagining how it would be like and racking my brains over what to wear, what to say and how friendly I should be.

For example, what should I say when I first step into the office?

" Hi Good Morning! I'm Elaine and today's my first day of work. Is the boss in?"

Haha. is that standard talk? Will they like dump me into the deep dark ends with work which I'm afraid of..being incapable of delivering what I had promised during the interview?

AND WHAT shld I wear??? Long sleeve? But what if its too formal and I look out of place? And I found out that another person is joining with me. Wouldn't that mean that I would be constantly compared to that other individual and that person could be a threat to me?

*Elaine crosses her fingers and hope that person won't be a political bitch/man ass*

But then to think of it in a positive light, having some other new person starting with me would mean someone sharing the same experiences with me, someone fresh like me, someone to talk to. :)

I am now in KL with my cousin.. she came back to pack her stuff to transport them to Singapore in preparation for her new life there. Both of us were quite lucky...to obtain a job at the same time. That is AWESOME! yay! I can finally get a sister that I often hoped for. HAha. A temporary one at least. lolx

I bought working tops here..but I'm still lacking in terms of bottoms.

I AM FAT AGAIN!!!! rahhhhhhhhhh...

Damn pissed with myself.

Coming back to KL to eat all the fattening food does not make things better. But I am quite determined to lose some weight when I get back to Singapore.

SERIOUSLY.

Having to grab clothings in XL size is not a good thing for my own self-esteem. As for bottoms, with my humongous butt & thighs, getting a working pants is no simple task. Every pants I try that makes me a dumpling or the skirt gets stuck @ my legs before I can even pull them up gets me more depressed than ever. After a while of shopping, you just get fed up and don't even feel like trying on ANYTHING. I just go straight for the size 16 and hope that the crotch won't look funny, the waist won't be too loose and the VPLs won't be that obvious. wtf. And how many shops actually have size 16 pants which is not too expensive. HELL. spending before even earning it. Asking my mum to pay for my clothes is not a very guang rong (proud) thing to do and I feel so guilty about it.

By the way, I only have one working pants. sigh. Gonna like grab pants from GAP next week. 99 bucks each. my pocket really burns man.

Actually the best and most wonderful thing when thinking about my job, is...

HOW AM I GOING TO SPEND THE SALARY?

woohoO! hahah I bet this is what every person who is starting work, thinks about.

Its like... when I have the realization that I can have 1k plus (after deduction from CPF) to spend a month, it is easy to get complacent about money. A vain person like me, easily starts thinking about branded stuff (my aim is a MiuMiu bag/Marc by Marc Jacobs bag & wallet), self-enhancement processes (eg. Lasik, contact lens, cut hair) and holidays. Just because we got the means to spend, the human nature gets greedy and feeds on material stuff. Ugly yet very real. Self-satisfaction is gained from it. I think this is especially applicable in terms of bag. My cousin was fascinated by the number of branded bags Singaporean working women carry (she was waiting for her friend @ Raffles Place during peak hour). ABsolutely reflective of the materialistic aspirations of the modern working woman, where branded stuff becomes something to give and derive satisfaction from.

For me... I am in no doubt, a brand slut too.

haha. I live in the society itself. Of course I subscribe to its values and aspirations as well!

oh well.

But definitely, I will set aside money for savings, my bearfish fund & most importantly, for my parents. Especially my mum. Beloved mum:)

Today was quite a memorable and poignant day of my life. The notification of my first JOB! :):)

~~~~~WHEEEE!!!!!~~~~

The boss called me and told me that they are going to accept me! The company is a local homegrown PR agency who has done a number of high-profile cases! I am both excited yet apprehensive at the same time, due to the amount of prep work I need to do, the type of person that I must mold myself into, the trepidation I will face in the near future, the amount of things I must live up to in future and being a better person than I am now.

The hard climb up the corporate ladder is ahead of me..

But in addition, I am damn relieved!!! mUAHAHHAHA

Looking for a job is no easy task, really. I can FINALLY understand why Candy took so long also to get a job. THe endless search on Jobstreet/JobsDB/monster.com was both tiring and demoralising. (as well as the endless nagging from my mum & pressure from Jason and myself) haha~ why I say Jason is coz the fact that he has work and that he is always busy, making me an unproductive loafing lump of lard @ home. lolx.

So far I went for an interview @ BM, Hotel Re! and finally M Comms! (trying not to say out the name for privacy sake)

And after two rounds of interview plus 2 essays, I finally GOT IT!! :)

*Phew* Damn happy about it.

And damn sad for my pocket.

Because I gotta invest in jackets and work clothes. wth.

Btw~

:) Sandy will be staying with me coz she got a job in Singapore also! Yay!!~~~ Luck comes in threes. (I remb some chinese saying).. hahah!!! Plus my brother's wedding tomorrow, I'm satisfied and already anticipating the fulfilling journey ahead of me. :D

My brother's wedding is in 4 days times!

Bet he's very excited. haha~ IN any case, I feel that wedding really takesup alot of money. So if u ain't got the cash, don't get married. ahahh! As for me, being a bridesmaid and being happy for my bro, guess spending is a necessary thing. (my parents pay though). hohoho.. feel quite bad also.


Getting a white dress is no easy thing for a plus size girl man. I trawled over the city, seeking endlessly for both brick and mortar shops, as well online shops...for the right dress (If i dun freaking lose weight, next time my personal wedding dress gotta be custom made and cost me a nuclear atomic bomb)


Anyway...these are the final contenders. Which do you think I would end up wearing?? :)


1)

2)


3)

4)

5)

this is the same dress as the above

The wedding would be fun! :)

:)

They finally called me.

Teehee~

I really really hope that I can get the job. I wanna start doing something, start contributing, start challenging myself, start lamenting how tough the things are and how irritating some particular person is...etc.

I really really hope they won't ask me to converse in Chinese tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

But if they really hire me, I will definitely go sign myself up for some Chinese course, since they are going to forage into China in future.

And if they really do hire me... i am really really sorry girls..I confirm cannot go on the trip! hahahaha.. i can't wait to embark on a career in public relations:) whether or not it is suitable for me, I gotta start somewhere right?

wheeee~

Happy Elaine:)