I AM so fat now!!!

AHHHHHH

I can't stop eating and eating and eating and eating.

I am eating every minute!

my face is back to Round. everyone says my butt is back to normal.

my boobs are bigger (coz fats)

ARGH...... i wanna exercise!!!!

and i wanna go cambodia. wonder whether i shld go... a bunch of people who i not very close to..summore 3 guys and just one other girl... hmmmm

MONEY!!! EXERCISE!!! JOB!!! come to me. come to mama.

i am so tired. SO so tired.

I got so many things to do.

I try to be there for u. But u are also being difficult in a way.

I KNOW u are the one hurt.

BUT I AM TOO! you are in worse hurt.

i CANNOT BE THERE FOR U 247!

please just solve urself. PLEASE just solve it.

I want to run away.

Maybe i shld be the one jumping down instead.

U lash out at me.

I AM NO FUCKING PROFESSIONAL HELP counsellor!

I AM Already trying. I have never been good at tension. I have never been good at comforting people. I try to rationalise to u. I try to not hurt u. I AM ALREADY TRYING. WHAT ELSE U want me to do. Stop emo blackmailing me.

I am so tired.

i dun freaking care if this is my ranting spot. I dun freaking care if everyone in the world sees this and think i am some weird emo kid.

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED!

second day: awoke to tension and tears. and now of course..still more tears.

when would all these stop.

Go away. go away. Crying is such a useless yet such a shiok thing. can really relieve one's tension.

my thoughts today--maybe i want you to come back. But even so, is it possible even?

right now, im at the lowest, lowest, lowest point of my life.

What is the future.

To stay or leave.

Is it up to me or maybe there is no choice after all?

Or maybe that choice has already been made but has been delayed.

My view right now on the 1st day: Don't delay. Just fucking go.

my heart is cringing in pain as tears threaten to sting my eyes...

She found out a small detail today. The more you try to hide something, the more suspicious you look. But the fact that she became very sad due to that small weird behavior, means that she's gonna be moody for a bit. I can't imagine the situation if that becomes permanent.....

sigh.

Job hunting is quite tedious in fact. im picky and alot of jobs require experience. like wth.

2 more HELL weeks before school ends... but the hell still persist till 5th May. I DON FUCKING CARE! GONNA club on 5th May. Cheers to short-lived freedom and drink away the woes.