TOday... is a terrible day..

I studied so hard for this module..yet I defeated myself through poor time management. I missed out several parts of the theory.. though I could recite it naturally...

I prayed.. I hoped..

I find myself so different from the rest, really wishing for an A.. to ace something.. while they have all the luxury to just wish for a pass.. get a Bachelor's and go. I on the other hand, am struggling..

Struggling for what sometimes I just look at my cap point and weep inwardly with despair. The future just seem so bleak. Baby told me this is just a pebble in my life. But this pebble has serious ramifications to what one can be in future. Perhaps I am just dramatizing this whole thing.. but I am not someone above average. Perhaps its my own personal failure, or whatsoever, I just fall short to those who seem to be able to make it to higher positions in life, achieving those things that are deemed glamourous and hankered by the rest of the mainstream.

Disappointment or plain resentment.

Resigned or still clinging onto that inkling of hope?

Perhaps the only light that lays bright at my heart's periphery, is love and that tiny happiness that 2 papers are over, just one more to go on Friday.

I am defeated today, starting over tomorrow.

My NCC sgt once told me, tomorrow will be a brand new day. Indeed it will be. But not without the chains of the past, the residuals of what happened, the lingering unconscious psyche which either destroys you or makes you stronger.

I hope it is the latter. I'll sleep on it tonight, gaining respite after the storm.